The no contact rule after a break up is important for so many reasons, but, one of its most important functions is DAMAGE CONTROL!
Break ups are a highly emotional time. For the one who was let go, it can be very painful to one’s self-confidence, ego, and emotional state. When you're in this emotional state, you won’t be thinking very clearly. You’ll do and say stupid things. You may even do things out of spite.
If you want to get her back, it's best not to rock the boat too much. No contact after a break up keeps you from making mistakes that will make you lose her forever. It also keeps you from making minor mistakes as well.
Are you contemplating or even researching some subjects as:
- How to make your ex change her mind?
- Giving her a present before no contact starts.
- How to ask ex odds of getting back together.
Those listed above should be avoided. Why? Let's take the first question: "How to make your ex change her mind?"
For one, you can't make her change her mind, and the more you try the more resistance you'll get. This will also just annoy her, as this is a form of harassment.
The second one is manipulative. You’re trying to buy back her affections. She'll see through this, and why would you want to give her a gift before you go into no contact? That's hugely desperate, and desperation is never attractive.
The third question is a no-no if you want to get her back. Never ask your ex the odds of getting back together. This makes you look desperate, and gives away you want her back. You have to keep them guessing and don't reveal the best card in your hand.
Can you see how the no contact rule keeps you from committing mistakes that could damage your chances of getting back together? After all, you can't say or do anything damaging if you're not communicating with her or him, right?
A few things to remember:
1. Every time you think that sending a text is OK after a breakup, it's not. I promise it's not.
2. Every attempt to contact just makes things worse.
3. Suck it up. Breaking up is hard to do, but you have to do your best to be the mature one in the relationship.
Keep a level head and always think things through without emotions. When you're mad, take a walk. It's not worth harping over or doing something foolish. You're only making things worse and, no matter how much you thought that person loved you, they won't think it's OK for you to do keep trying to contact them.
The best thing that you can do is to keep your emotions to yourself and within your circle of friends. Giving the person you once loved the benefit of seeing you upset is not the smartest idea.
There is a lot more to the no contact rule after a break up than meets the eye. It has many functions other than just cutting communication off with an ex or disappearing for a while. Most have way too many misconceptions about this stage, and it's one of the reasons why so many fail at getting an ex back. This article gives you a brief overview of why you should not ignore no contact if you do want her back.
Sign in to comment