Starting to date again is probably the last thing on your mind during a break up, but sooner or later, it is something you will need to think about.

During the time that you and your partner were together, dating was probably not something you would have thought about. This means that it could have been several years since you last asked for or accepted the offer of a date.

The very idea of dating again may seem frightening, but it can actually help you to recover from the pain of a broken heart, if it is approached in the right way. If you are accepting dates as a way to meet more people and to enjoy yourself, then this will be most valuable in the short term. However, you may be lucky enough to meet someone that you think you could have a long term relationship with, and this will be helpful to you in a completely different way.

However, you will need to be honest with the people you are dating. Let them know that you have just broken up from a long term relationship, and that you are probably not ready for another commitment just yet. This way, you are being fair to them and to yourself, and can spare yourself even more heartache. You don’t need to give any more details, otherwise you will end up sharing more information than necessary, and discouraging your date’s potential interest in you.

There are no strict rules about when you should start to date again after a break up; it depends on when you want to take that step. Ask yourself whether you still have feelings for your ex, and if the honest answer is yes, then you are probably not yet ready to date again. However, if you no longer have romantic feelings for him or her, then you may have moved on enough to consider dating, if that is something you want to do.

Why should I date again?

Starting to date again can help you to recover from a break up simply by getting you out of the house and meeting new people.

• Seeing that you are still considered attractive by potential partners can do wonders for your self esteem and confidence, which may have suffered as a result of the break up. Finding out that someone is attracted to you will help you to feel much better about yourself at a time when this is extremely important.

• Having a date also gives you something to look forward to, even if you are also nervous about it (which is, by the way, completely normal). It will give you a reason to get out of the house regularly, which is important after a break up. Too many people spend this time at home on their own, avoiding all kinds of social contact, which has the effect of lengthening the painful recovery, rather than helping to speed the process along and encouraging the emotions to heal.

• You may have absolutely no interest in getting back together with your ex, but if you do, being seen out dating other people is an excellent way to show them exactly what they are missing. You will be seen as slipping away, out of their reach, by doing this, which will only make you even more attractive. If your ex has any regrets about the end of the relationship, then this will make them contact you about the possibility of getting back together. At that point, it is your choice as to what you want to do. You may decide, after dating other people, that you no longer want to get back together, and would prefer to date your new love interest.

How soon to begin dating again after a break up is entirely your decision, but there are a number of reasons why it would be good to consider sooner rather than later. However, bear in mind that getting serious with someone new is probably not a viable option at this stage, due to the emotional strain you have been under recently. However, don’t rule this out, because you never know when you might meet that special person who is exactly what you have been hoping for.