Are you having a hard time getting over your ex boyfriend? Do you find yourself wanting him badly? Do you feel that he's the right one and feel guilty that you missed him? If so, don't despair.
I understand how you feel. Going through a breakup can be tough to handle especially if the person you were in a relationship was close to perfect in almost every way that you could imagine.
If you're feeling despair and distressed because of the breakup, just take a deep breath for a moment. Don’t let the emotional anxiety eat you. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.
Forget about your ex, the breakup and your struggling lifestyle for a moment and just take a couple of deep breaths. Count down from ten to one and focus on your breath exclusively. Open your eyes.
Do you notice a change in your emotional state? You may not feel significantly different but still you'll have re-gained some control over your emotions.
What you just did is one of the simplest forms of meditation. It puts you in emotional control. Now I'm not saying that it is the solution to your problems.
A ten second meditation session is not going to get your ex boyfriend back or help you fix your life back either. But it'll give you the mental clarity that you require to make DECISIONS that'll help you get the things you want.
If you desperately want to get you ex boyfriend back, you've got to stop being desperate. You need to lose the emotional attachment that you have towards your boyfriend.
“The one who releases himself from the emotional attachment to a desired outcome is, ironically, the one most likely to realize that outcome.” –Erik Von Markovik
The emotional attachment towards your boyfriend needs to go before you can get him. While losing emotional attachment is essential, it is important that you do not lose your sense of direction. There is a fine line of balance that you need to draw.
If you completely lose emotional attachment, you may actually NOT want him at all. Therefore, the motivation that you NOW have which tells you that you are willing to DO ANYTHING to get him back will vanish too.
When the motivation is gone, you won't be able to get yourself to push beyond your comfort zone to doing the things that will attract your ex boyfriend or another man just like him into your life. So make sure that you keep a balance.
And there's also another thing you need to know - you're not going to get your ex boyfriend back tomorrow. In some cases, reconciliation in relationships is possible within days.
It may be possible in your case as well especially if your boyfriend still desires you and has attraction towards you. If he doesn't, the chances of reconciliation are quite low (at least not immediate). So be prepared for this.
Getting your ex boyfriend back is going to take time. The time taken will directly depend upon how much attraction or repulsion he has towards you.
A breakup happens when a person or both the persons involved in the relationship realize that they've lost all the attraction or have found attraction with someone else or they're repulsed because the two just got too close or due to co-dependence in the relationship. There are many other reasons as to why a breakup is caused.
But that's not the scope of the article. So let's be focused on getting your ex boyfriend back.
If your boyfriend broke up because he was a commitment phobic, the situation is quite different. There are MANY men in this world that just want to hang out with as many women as possible without committing themselves.
If you're dealing with such a man, you need to handle the situation cautiously. The chance of him coming back to you for a NO STRINGS attached relationship is extremely high. On the other hand, it’s quite low if he were just a regular guy that believes and wants serious long-term relationships.
But when he does come back, you need to CONVERT it to a commitment style relationship. These guys fall for women easily and you can have him addicted to you if you push his emotional buttons and play with it in the right manner.
In fact, you can have him chasing you like a desperate dog (which you can't accomplish with regular guys that are after serious relationships).
It all depends on your ability to get him to pursue you.
There is only one thing that makes a guy pursue you or any other worthy goal. Want to know the secret word? Then listen closely.
Desire is the most powerful psychological drug that makes people go crazy. It's desire that makes people do drugs, become alcoholics, get rich, con people, etc. In terms of relationships, desire can also be replaced with another word - ATTRACTION.
Getting your ex boyfriend back is all about MAKING him DESIRE you more than he used to desire you before logically, physically and emotionally.
Physical desire is purely the desire for making love. If a guy is attracted to you SEXUALLY, he may have a hard time getting over you (but he may do so if he is able to rationalize himself and control his emotions). A Commitment phobic breaks up with a woman despite of physically desiring her because he just doesn't want it to get SERIOUS.
In most cases, couples even after breakups still have physical sexual desire for their loved ones (especially among men). It usually never dies.
Emotional desire is the attachment he has towards you. How badly have you gotten him emotionally attached?
At the start of the relationship, you probably remember the time when he was dying to see what texts you sent, to return your phone calls, etc. He was so impulsive and wanted to know what you had to SAY badly.
There were times when he listened to you, told you beautiful stories and wanted to hold your hands and walk with you. He spoke about problems in his life, his childhood and told you that he loves you.
These are all examples of emotional attachment or attraction. If your relationship has become so close and turned into a co-dependent one, the guy will have naturally lost his emotional attraction towards you. You can't get it back immediately.
You can only do so by creating SPACE.
Logical desire is when a guy desires you physically and emotionally but still doesn't want you because he knows that a relationship with you is not going to do any good. He has to be able to rationalize the decision for being in love with you in terms of his career, future, etc.
Emotion trumps over logic anytime. But still logically to a certain extent, it has to make sense.
If you're only earning $30K yearly and your boyfriend is earning $250K yearly, he may or may not choose to commit to you. It all depends on the emotional attraction he has towards you. But if his emotional attraction isn't enough, he's just not going to fall for you because you're just not in his league.
So if you want to get your ex boyfriend back, make sure that you do the things that you need to do logically, physically and emotionally to attract him back.
There's no one specific thing that you can do towards increasing only his logical attraction or physical attraction or emotional attraction. These things are always inter-related.
Working out, losing weight and looking SIZZLING hot will create physical attraction and push some of his emotional buttons which will in turn get his mind to rationalize his attraction for you (because he desires you physically). His mind will make up all sorts of crazy reasons to justify the attraction.
And then as you push even more emotional buttons, he gets addicted to you and his mind rationalizes further until logic is eliminated and he proposes to you.