Managing Expectations When It Comes to Your Divorce in Chicago

We’ve all been there: hanging out with a buddy at a bar, talking to a girlfriend over coffee, even listening to a coworker in the break room at work, as they carry on about how they are going to stick it to their soon-to-be-ex in the divorce. Sometimes, the words are simply bravado or a need to vent. However, some people have been encouraged in this kind of thought by an attorney who has promised to help them win their divorce case or has fueled their desire to somehow get revenge through the divorce process.

As any experienced divorce attorney will tell you, however, that really is not how divorce works. In the majority of divorce cases in Chicago, it is not a matter of winning or losing, but of all parties’ rights and best interests being upheld insofar as that is possible. In most instances, if the parties of a divorce are interested in getting at each other through the divorce proceedings, the case will end up before a judge. And, the fact of the matter is that the judge is not on any one person’s side, but must try to do what is legal, just, and fair given the information presented in the divorce.

Because the judge is seeking fairness and not to declare one person the winner over the other, there is little chance that anyone will feel like a winner once the divorce is over. However, if you work with your divorce attorney on managing your expectations about what will occur during the divorce and what the possible outcomes could be, there is a good chance that you will not finish the divorce feeling as though you lost, either.

Your divorce attorney can prove to be a valuable resource in this respect because, like the judge, your attorney is an objective third party to the divorce. True, you have hired your divorce attorney to protect your interests; however, your attorney can still remain a disinterested bystander when things heat up and you or your spouse start plotting all of the ways in which you are going to “get back” at the other through the divorce. At that point, your divorce attorney can serve as the calming voice of reason that helps to steer you back to the reality of managing expectations.

If you and your spouse are contemplating or have filed for divorce, having an experienced attorney in the Chicago area can help you to have a realistic understanding of what to expect from the divorce. Contact an attorney today to learn how your best interests can be upheld even if you are not the one who wins in the divorce.

When you need the services of an expert divorce attorney in Chicago, consult Solutions First. Robin Becker started Solutions First in 1998 in a small office in Downtown Chicago. Solutions First has grown from a one lawyer office to a multiple lawyer office serving the entire Chicago area and providing business and divorce litigation and mediation legal services. Contact Solutions First at (312) 386-1467 or visit


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