If you have been in the same relationship for several years, it may seem like the love is gone.  Your talks have been reduced to grunts and hand gestures; maybe a nod or two even. It is time to put the spark back into your love life and fall in love all over again. When you first met, you more than likely had late night talks into the early morning hours. You could not get enough of each other. This is the type of spark you need to recapture, the spark that made you fall in love.

People Change

When you feel like something has changed in your relationship, it probably has changed. This does not mean it’s time to file for divorce or break up.  It simply means it is time to get to know one another all over again. Rejuvenate those late night talks, ask questions and really listen to the answers. You may find there is a whole other side to your lover. Change does not have to be scary; you can embrace it and move forward together. Once your partner realizes that you are curios and still interested in them, it could unlock the mystery and begin a whole new journey for you both.

When you start talking to one another again be sure to ask the right questions that stimulate conversation. The point is to discover things about one another that you do not know about yet. Have faith in each other and treat each other with care when you open up about your desires. 

Good Questions to Ask

Part of the reason you and your partner may have fallen out of sync has to do with conversation. Everyday life tends to make you both so busy you forget to stop and reconnect.  Perhaps you are too tired or you just have had a bad day. You need to turn to your partner and communicate. Maybe you just aren’t sure what to say. Below is a list of conversational questions that should help get you both talking.

·      Why did you fall in love with me?

·      If you had no financial worries, how would you spend your time?

·      If you didn’t have to work, what would you do?

·      What would you like to do before you die?

·      What are you proud about in your life?

·      Is there something you would like to do over in your life?

·      Have you any regrets?

·      Is there anything that would make life not worth living?

·      Why do you love (insert subject matter here)?

·      What is the most difficult task you have accomplished?

All of these questions are great conversation starters. Try not to read too much into them or use any of the information to start an argument. The purpose of asking these questions is to create a renewed interest in one another. You should only ask questions that you would be comfortable answering if the shoe were on the other foot. 

Physically Communicating

You can talk for hours to reconnect, but you need physicality to continue growing closer to one another. It does not matter if you have been together for two years or twenty years, everyone needs to continue to show their partner they are cherished and loved. A great way to communicate this physically is to slow down and spend some alone time together. You can start by simply looking your partner directly in the eyes and letting them know you want to spend uninterrupted time together for a few minutes. Get comfortable together in any manner that suits you both. You may want to dim the lights, have a drink or change into more comfortable clothing. This is not about seducing; this is about falling in love again.

Let your partner know that you want a close physical connection such as a hug or snuggling time. While you are close together try to breathe together in a synchronized manner. Try to inhale and exhale at the exact same time. If you burst into a fit of laughter this is only natural.  Say what you are feeling, whether you feel the familiar spark of love that connected you in the beginning, or if you are uncomfortable. The idea is to communicate what you are feeling in order to find your way back to one another. 

Next you need to hug each other for at least five minutes. Make sure you smile and reflect that happiness you feel with the act of touching the one you love. It works best when your bodies are pressed together and neither one of you are holding back. While you are hugging, try to match each other’s breathing depth and rates. When you are truly close to one another you will feel your bodies become in sync with one another and it will feel different, more intimate. It is important for you to express how you feel in this moment. Again, laughing is not a bad thing, neither is becoming emotional. If you both have been having problems with intimacy this may bring a lot of heavy emotions to the forefront so you can both deal with them.

After your five minutes have passed you can slowly let go of each other. Now is when you really need to talk. Sit down facing each other and share how the process made you feel. The process off falling in love again may take time; it may also take many more intimate moments together.  The point is that it is important to spend time together reconnecting in order to fall in love all over again.