Relationships are born and then they die. There are usually many reasons that relationships end, and in many cases for a good reason. But what if your relationship was long-lasting and you both just felt like it could be rekindled? 

Well, there's many things you should focus on here. The term "both" is important, as both of you will need to feel the same way. When a couple falls in love there are reasons for that, but those reasons can change because people change. Distance, time and even other people coming into the relationship can cause the relationship to fall apart.

So you need to ask yourself, was it real? We've all been there. Many people even get married because they want to believe that their relationship was magical or "meant to be". Regardless as to whether or not you believe in God, you should not fall victim of the whole "meant to be" or "destiny" nonsense. That's just what it is: nonsense. 

Look, we were all young and dumb, and you may just be getting to that point in your life. Understand that it's OK to be young and foolish. We have ALL been there, believe me. But if you've grown up beyond that point, it's time to understand that there is no magic in relationships. There are connections and they may be special, but they are not magic. Magic is not real. Destiny is not real. Love is. Love is not destiny, love wasn't meant to be. You can easily fall in love with another person, so don't fall into a trap and let yourself become depressed or crazy over one person.

As the saying goes, there's always more fish in the sea. There really is. It's why some people find "soul mates" over and over.

Now, if you feel that there's still a spark with your ex and you feel that they feel the same way, then give it another go. Just don't fall into any traps and find yourself lying to yourself, making excuses or even trying to convince yourself that it's "meant to be". Your true love could be right next door and you will never know if you do not let go when the timing is right. And, in case you wanted to know, the timing is always right when someone lets you go. Always. Trust me.

Okay, so enough of that. You came here because you wanted to know about how to get your ex-girlfriend of ex-boyfriend back. So let's discuss that.

Start Over

Yep, start over. If you feel like that loving feeling is gone, try to start fresh and see how it goes the second time. If you don't let go of the past, the past will eventually suck you in and keep you there for much of your future. You do not want to be stuck there, believe you me! It's not fun.

Starting over means starting fresh. No past history, no digging into each other over reasons you originally broke up. It's not going to be easy, especially if you broke up due to cheating or anything else. If it was due to a physical altercation, please let it go...leave and do not try to rekindle anything from the past. It WILL NOT work again. It can't. You cannot get rid of physical pasts, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself. Start fresh...with someone else.

No sex. You're starting fresh. Go out on a date, text, chat, etc. - make that person chase you, but absolutely no sex, period. Sex will destroy the second chance before it begins. Make him or her understand that this is starting over.

Dating should be something new, something fresh. No going back to where you first met. That can be done later, far down the road. This is a fresh attempt at a NEW relationship, remember? You remember. Do your best to keep everything new, because you need to see how it really was, or if it really could be. 

Be different, but be you. Don't pretend to be someone else, just be yourself, but do something out of the ordinary that may spark up a different conversation. Share stories that may not have been shared, as long as they're positive.

Getting your ex back will not be easy, because most relationships due to arguments. Do everything you can to be friendly, but if there's something uncomfortable at the attempt to get back, there's a reason. Your natural instincts are telling you something, so listen to them. Guys, listen to your gut, not your penis. Girls, listen to your gut, not his penis. Be realistic. Be wary. Be true to yourself.

No matter what you should not talk about what might have happened during the time in-between the relationship ending and that first date. Nothing good can come of it and it only opens the door to jealousy. Nothing good can come from information that can be used against you, so keep your thoughts and curiosity to yourself. 

However, if you feel that the other person may have been doing things you're not comfortable with, or you feel that they're untrustworthy, move on. It's not worth being in a relationship with an untrustworthy person, even if it's just your negative thoughts. They'll come back to haunt you. 

Believe me when I say that there are other people out there that can be "the right" person for you, no matter what you might feel right now. Don't let your thoughts force you into a situation where you feel like your ex is the only thing you're capable of landing. They are not. I don't care if you're 500 pounds and think you look like Godzilla. There are always other people out there that will love you for who you are. Trust me, I've been around long enough to see that everyone can find love if they actually try!

Patience is key. If your attempt to rekindle that spark with your ex seems to be working out, be patient. Let them be them and you let yourself be you. You'll need to keep your head straight and not let any thoughts get the best of you. If they care about you they will be okay with being patient, and vice versa!

Good Luck and Also...

I wish you great luck on your journey to find love. However, I want to make something clear. No matter what, please do not attempt to rekindle a relationship with another person if you are involved in a relationship or simply 'seeing' someone. It's not fair and you will be burned in the end. Karma will find her way to you and she will not be very kind to those who deserve it.

Be faithful to the person who you want to be with. If you decide to chase another person, let the current person go, without causing issues. There's no point in trying to play games and players always get played in the end, especially when they decide to 'find love'.